Dear Significant Other

Note to the reader:I chose this as my next challenge because I think that it will help me process many things that I keep pent up. Some of these things may be deep and a little hard to read. I understand if you’d prefer not to read this series of blogs. There’s always other blogs that you will be able to view.Day 1: A letter to your significant other (or future significant other)Dear Significant Other:Remember when we first met? Remember how we started out as friends and tried to pretend that we could stay that way. How we lied to ourselves and everybody around us because we didn’t want to admit that there was a connection between us?Remember how we finally decided to be honest with ourselves and everybody around us? Remember how things completely changed around us? We lost many friends because we decided to follow our hearts. At first, that really hurt me. In time, I realized that our most cherished friends stayed by our side. Remember the weeks we spent trying to find things we didn’t have in common? Those were the most magical times of my life. I finally found somebody that understood my quirky little obsessions. Somebody who loved reading. It was amazing to me. I wanted to find out how to keep that happiness forever.Remember how everybody was against our relationship at first? Because of how we met? Well, I shouldn’t say everybody, but we had a lot of people who flat out told us we wouldn’t last. Remember how harsh they were? Remember how people even went as far as to try to accuse us of being unfaithful to each other?We’ve been together for going on four years. Right now we are in a really tough spot. We are both trying to discover ourselves and figure out if we can be strong on our own. You want to do that without breaking up and I respect that. I’m willing to try for you. I just really don’t know who I am anymore. I thought I knew. I thought I had everything figured out, but the doubts about myself plague me every day. You’re one of the few people who has ever really bothered to help me through it all. One of the few that says “no you’re not” when I lie and say I’m okay. We have been through a lot of stuff. We both have our flaws that drive the other one crazy, but that’s a part of life. It would be weird if we didn’t drive each other nuts sometimes. We have people who go out of their way to find things wrong with us and our relationship so that they can try to come between us. Sometimes it just gets to be too much. Sometimes I just want to crawl in a ball and just cry until I can’t feel anymore.I don’t know where I’m going from here. I’m really scared. At times I feel like I’m alone and everybody is against me. I know you’re there, though. I just don’t’ know what to do. I don’t know how to express the thoughts that flow through my head every day. I feel like I’m trapped inside a bubble watching everything going on around me and not knowing how to just relax and enjoy it fully.Please be patient with me. That’s all I really ask. I’m scared and I’m vulnerable right now. My instincts are screaming to run and hide and forget the world. I’m reallly trying not to. I do love you. In my own way. I just really need to learn to love myself as much as I love you and the other people in my world.Love,Me

Source: Dear Significant Other

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